Breaking Through

The one lesson God has been trying to teach Joel and I over the past 6 years is the importance of having an emergency savings. There was money we could have saved at times, which we didn't, and as soon as financial disaster struck, we were pretty much ruined. You would think after the first few times it would motivate us to save. You would be wrong. It has taken us almost 6 years to finally say enough is enough. And we are saving. Pinching. Working. Sacraficing. Its not easy. But its worth it. Our goal for October is to have 1000 dollars saved. The goal for February is to have at least 3000 before we get our tax return. I guess we'll see how it goes, but if we don't have the money saved, we aren't going to be able to find a new home to live in. I guess that's a big motivator as well.

And what I mean by "better" is the things you know you are capable of doing, but just aren't for whatever reason?

Do you ever just want to do better?

Lately

I've been slacking. I need time to decompress (I almost typed decompose...now how's that for being tired?) I want so badly to just be able to get my feelings out and not feel like I don't have time. Because I do. Have time, that is. Except when I have free time, all I want to do is turn on the xbox and play a game. I want to relax and not think about the fact that my huband, 3 children and I are now living with my father. That one tiny miscommunication with Army pay back in May has snowballed into a financial disaster. All because we didn't have an emergency savings. The one lesson we always go back to...we've hit this brick wall multiple times and for some reason we have not confronted the issue. So now, there's no way around it: we HAVE to save.
My husband has taken over the very strict budget, which is a relief, because I'm just not very good at discerning whats a neccessity and what i just want. Well, I know the difference, I just give in. So we are putting everything extra above 14o dollars a week into our savings to build it up. The 140 is for gas and groceries. Including diapers and whatnot. For a family of 5. And an 18 year old brother who is also living in this house who likes to eat all our food and drink my diet coke. My only source of caffeine.
Can you tell I'm on edge? I'm really trying to lay my frustrations at the foot of the cross...I mean, in light of God and His purpose for us as a family, and in light of Jesus and all He has done for us, and in light of the fact that God has ALWAYS provided for our basic needs...In light of all that, can I really complain about no diet coke? (honestly, I still do...)
I guess I'm just trying to remember what I am on this earth for...to be a daughter of the King, to be a wife who serves and loves faithfully, to be a leader to my kids...to point my family to Christ. I just want to love them and be there for them, not just physically but spiritually and emotionally. I want to be present. I want to live in the here and now...not the "a year from now things will be so much better..."

Guess this is just whats on my heart today, Jesus. Make me yours.

Changing Directions

Yesterday morning I woke up at 9am, in complete and utter pain. By back hurt from having an unborn child laying on my spine, my ankle and foot were sore from God knows what...and I was utterly tired from doing too much on Saturday and then staying up till after midnight. Although I will say I had a great time with friends Saturday night. So the first thought Sunday morning was we are NOT going to church. There is just no way I can get myself and 2 girls ready, plus my hubby. Not going to happen. And as I emptied my bladder I thought...I need to be at church today, there is ALWAYS something God wants to do in me on the days that I feel like I can't make it to church. We MUST go. So we made it, only 15 minutes late...and I was settled and seated during worship because of my hurt foot. And that is where God met me. He kept repeating the word 'Undone' to me....kept repeating the phrase "She's come Undone". And then it hit me like a wave, the tears flowed. I realized all that I have been trying to accomplish within my life, my marriage, my home, my parenting...it is all being done in MY own strength. God is calling me, telling me to become Undone before Him. To let Him do the work in and through me. To rely on HIS strength to accomplish all the great things He has for my life, and to be the Woman of God, the wife, the mother, the friend, the daughter, the teacher that He is calling me to be.

With that, I am becoming Undone before God. I am letting go of the old mindsets that I have been setting for myself. I'm letting go. Just thought you all would like to know! :)

My Vision for my Life

This is my Calling: "As a wife and a mother, My Mission is to counsel married couples and families that are going through rough times and crisis. My husband and I will reach out to help draw husband and wife closer to the Lord, Closer to each other and Closer to their children, In turn Helping rebuild a God centered family. Once the family unit is under proper authority, this will change the lives of this generation and those to come."

Going on Vacation!!

Ok...well, not really. Its an exercise in Prioritize. Thanks to My good friend NJOYNLIFE, we are looking at what we would need to do to get ready for a vacation in 3 days...Make a list of what MUST be done in order to leave peacefully...so here is my list. Lets see if I can do it!!!

Finish all Laundry (3 loads??) Put Away!!
Pick Up Living Room and Declutter and Vacuum
Tidy Kitchen, Throw out leftovers, Make a list of meals I can make from what we have, Sweep and Mop and Declutter Counters/Wipe Down CountersDeclutter
Master Bedroom, Clean out from under bed and vacuum (for when delivery people bring new mattress) Put clean laundry away.
Tidy up Girls Room
Quick wipe down of Bathroom

I'll let you know how it goes :)

Rythym and Schedule

So I am working on getting Rythym. Rythyms as described by my friend Cherie are like little routines that make up our whole day. I have also decided to tweak my Cleaning Schedule, and start fresh with it. Yesterday was my first day being focused, and I had an amazing result. Here is the new Schedule:

These Rooms are the Focus of each day:
Monday: Living Room and Master Bedroom
Tuesday: Kitchen, Bathroom and Girls Room
Wednesday: Girls Room, Laundry Day
Thursday: Living Room, Bathroom, Kitchen
Friday: Girls Room, Laundry Day
Saturday: Kitchen, Master Bedroom, Laundry Day
Sunday: Declutter

I am going to also Make Room in each closet for different things, so it will hopefully reduce the clutter that ends up in the Living Room and Kitchen

Girls Closets: Clothes and Toys
Master Closet: Clothes, Joel's Army Gear, Books
Living Room Closet: Puzzles, Books, DVD's, Art Supplies, Homeschool Stuff, Vacuum and Video game equipment.

Here is the result of Monday:
I also got a truthful bit of advice from my MIL when she was listening to me sob the other night...I told her how I don't want to live like this anymore, and she said that when she had young kids to take care of, she didnt do any fun things until the chores were done. She said she used to clean in the mornings and then take the kids to the beach at night. (She lived on Cape Cod, MA) I realized that part of my problem was doing things during the day like playing games, reading books, watching shows...things that could wait until after my work was done. I think I was rationalizing it by comparing my life to my husbands. I thought, "He works all day, then comes home and does whatever he wants. I work all day in my house, then I have to work at night when he gets home (dinner, tubbies, bedtime, cleaning) so I thought I would take time for myself during the day if I am going to have to work regardless.
Well, yesterday was my first day of being on a schedule, and I didnt do one fun thing for myself all day. I got what I needed to get done, and around bedtime MIL helped me get the house picked up completely and she put the kids to bed while I vacuumed. Hubby walked into a nice, clean relaxing home, I had all of my work done, and I was ENJOYING watching Heroes on TV. It was SUCH a GREAT feeling! I felt like I had worked hard, and was being rewarded for it. I just had to share that..because it made such a difference in my day yesterday.

I am sitting at my desk, looking out the window, and at all the trees. There are still dead leaves attached to some of the trees. Apparently the winds of Autumn did not carry away the leaves, or the tree was holding on too tightly to those dead leaves for fear of being naked. During the winter snow storms, the snow weighed heavy upon the trees with their dead leaves still attached, for there was more surface on the tree for the winter snow to cling to. It must have felt over burdened at times. What is going to have to happen for the new life to come from the tree? The dead stuff will have to fall off first. Perhaps when the new growth and new life comes in, the dead stuff will immediately be pushed away and fall to the wayside. Amazing how much this is like our lives. We hold onto things for so long...some of it waying us down, causing depression, anxiety, fear, anger, bitterness and loneliness. God maybe wants to do a new thing in us, to cause new growth and to bring forth new life. Regardless of how it happens, the dead stuff has to come away. Whether we let go of it, or it is forced off of us, it will be the beginning of a beautiful new season. I would rather cast it off, and wait naked in anticipation of what is to come.

Post pictures of 3 beautiful flowers that you find to be truly stunning.

I find the concept of wildflowers amazing. Beautiful little flowers that aren't high maintenance, grow where the wind blows the seeds, come back year after year...And multiply. I LOVE all kinds of flowers, its hard to narrow it down to 3...but here are a few of my favorites.

Find 3 textures that you adore...satin, velvet, cotton, metal, wood, etc.

Find some pictures of furniture that make you drool.

This was fun! My style is more eclectic than anything, but I love French Country and Shabby Cottage Chic. I love the bedding, I think different rooms will have a different feel. Our bedroom would be Shabby Chic, our Kitchen French Country, our Living Room French Country as well. I think I would love an office space that was Beachy Cottage Chic.