Thursday, April 29, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I am in the process of spring cleaning, except I've mostly just begun in my head. I've been hacking away at laundry all week, but I really have been organizing my thoughts, my ideas and trying to come up with a solution to, well, myself. I know that I am:
- A procrastinator. I feel the energy while I am doing things at the last minute. It is then that special projects really begin to take shape.
- I have some sort of A.D.D type thing going on. I cannot focus on 1 thing at a time. Its ridiculous how bad I have gotten. If you look at my computer at any given time, I will have 4 windows open and each of those windows will have 3 or 4 tabs.
- I am a creative genius. Ok, well...maybe just creative. Not sure about the genius part. But I love coming up with new ideas, new purposes for things and love making old things new again.
- I love to change things around. When I was younger, my room would be so trashed. I had so much stuff in one small room, that the only way I would ever clean it was to put everything on the bed and dressers, move the furniture around and then clean from there. I had to have the inspiration of moving furniture around in order to clean up the mess. I still don't know why I function this way.
- I put things off. I am lazy...well...I find more value in doing things that I like; such as, sitting on the couch watching my husband play video games or tickling my kids, than I do in cleaning my kitchen. Ok, so we probably all do...but a lot of times I don't do those ever so important things until they are so out of control that I don't know where to begin.
- I like lists...but not too long of lists. I need things written down in front of me, but not that its so overwhelming. I've opted to try out Sidetracked Home Executives Index Card System to see if I can work from there...
So there you have it. This is me in a nutshell (as it pertains to the care and keeping of my home). So in my mind I can visualize my house cleaned, and I can visualize my new system working, but until I get off Blogger and off my Butt and start to implement it, it will never happen. Off I go!!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Yesterday I woke up after not having good sleep. I was immediately overwhelmed by the thought of being a mom yesterday. I was so tired. My thoughts were immediately negative and bitter. "Why this...If only that..." As I walked through my house and saw all the things I needed to do I became so overwhelmed that I literally went back to hide under the covers. It was there that I worked through a depressive state, and really cried out to God to give me strength. I texted my husband and told him my current mental/emotional/spiritual state and he said that he was praying for me. With the baby taking a nap and the girls occupied by a movie, I laid there and I literally felt a spiritual battle taking place while I just kind of rested. I wasn't fully asleep (As another mom knows that no one can fully fall asleep when there are children not tucked soundly in their beds) but I was in a restful state.
After that, I got out of bed and walked through my house again. I started a load of laundry, did half the dishes, and picked up the living room. I proceeded to vacuum and then just spend naptime doing whatever I wanted.
I've been off with eating and excersize, but as I explained my day yesterday to a very dear friend of mine, she said, "Liz, you will not be perfect all the time...but you will be victrious. Yesterday, you were victorious in overcoming that depression."
That is the key. Don't give up being victorious. I also felt the tides turn yesterday when I caught a vision for my house. I have been wanting to buy a few bakers racks to use for storing things, and since we were going to be able to do that yesterday night, I started focusing on preparing the places they were going to go. Once I had a vision for my day, it was easier to tackle the mess.
This is me being real.
Who I Am
- Connecticut, United States
- That is where God met me. He kept repeating the word 'Undone' to me....kept repeating the phrase "She's come Undone". And then it hit me like a wave, the tears flowed. I realized all that I have been trying to accomplish within my life, my marriage, my home, my parenting...it is all being done in MY own strength. God is calling me, telling me to become Undone before Him. To let Him do the work in and through me. To rely on HIS strength to accomplish all the great things He has for my life, and to be the Woman of God, the wife, the mother, the friend, the daughter, the teacher that He is calling me to be. With that, I am becoming Undone before God. I am letting go of the old mindsets that I have been setting for myself. I'm letting go.