Thursday, September 30, 2010

Was good, now gone.

Yesterday, that is. I had a great, productive day yesterday, and it actually looked like I accomplished multiple things. But that was yesterday, and in my house, yesterday doesn't survive today. Today, well, I woke up to pouring rain and my kids were fine one minute, and then whiney and crabby the next.
ALL. DAY. LONG.

I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen just to turn around and bake bread and make homemade chicken stew (cuz it was just so gosh darn gloomy out...) And now...well...I didn't have the energy to clean that mess up. But I guess that's why God made tomorrows.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

So much...So much.

I think thats the only way I can describe my heart lately. Overburdened. I've been dealing with a lot of things, striving...but instead of things getting better in my heart and emotionally, somedays I just feel angry. It works its way out in stress...or when things don't go my way...I say things in my head that I would never say out loud. My temper is short. And I never seem to have enough time for anything. I'm tired. It may be because I am getting woken up between 4-6 times a night between 3 children. Or maybe I've been avoiding issues that God is trying to resolve inside of me. Life is good right now...Life around me...things should be getting easier...but inside me I feel like there is a war raging. What I need the most is time with My Father...time spent in prayer and worship...with no kids around. Seclusion and Peace and a place I can unburden myself. So thats what I'm starting with...I'm making that time for myself.

Off to work on this schedule for today...
  • Pick up Living Room, Vacuum Couch, Declutter Desk/Filing Cabinet
  • Pick up Kitchen, Dishes, Counters, Clean out Fridge, Declutter Rack, Table and Floors
  • Laundry, Pick up My Room, Make Bed
  • Quick Clean Bathroom
  • Declutter and Pickup Girls Room, Vacuum, Make Beds, Organize Toys, Put away Laundry
  • Declutter and Pickup Micahs Room, Vacuum, Crib, Organize Toys

Who I Am

My photo
Connecticut, United States
That is where God met me. He kept repeating the word 'Undone' to me....kept repeating the phrase "She's come Undone". And then it hit me like a wave, the tears flowed. I realized all that I have been trying to accomplish within my life, my marriage, my home, my parenting...it is all being done in MY own strength. God is calling me, telling me to become Undone before Him. To let Him do the work in and through me. To rely on HIS strength to accomplish all the great things He has for my life, and to be the Woman of God, the wife, the mother, the friend, the daughter, the teacher that He is calling me to be. With that, I am becoming Undone before God. I am letting go of the old mindsets that I have been setting for myself. I'm letting go.