Wednesday, June 16, 2010

These words stuck in my heart tonight...

Ecclesiastes 5

Approaching God with Care
1 As you enter the house of God, keep your ears open and your mouth shut. It is evil to make mindless offerings to God. 2 Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.

3 Too much activity gives you restless dreams; too many words make you a fool.

4 When you make a promise to God, don’t delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to him. 5 It is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it. 6 Don’t let your mouth make you sin. And don’t defend yourself by telling the Temple messenger that the promise you made was a mistake. That would make God angry, and he might wipe out everything you have achieved.

7 Talk is cheap, like daydreams and other useless activities. Fear God instead.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Out of the Darkness

I was at Church today and a thought occured to me during worship. It tied together things that God has been showing me over the past few months, but in a kind of "Ah Hah!" way. I guess it starts with this quote, "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Gil Bailie
I realized that the one thing I need to do on this earth is Worship God. That's what He has called me specifically to do. It's my passion, and it encompasses my whole life. If I start to focus on just doing that one thing, God showed me that all the other areas I have been struggling with and failing in will become right. For other people, there may be other things that God has called you to do...Preach the Gospel, Love the Unlovable, Feed the Hungry, Pray without ceasing....We are all called to do these things, but there seems to be always one passion that stands out stronger and brighter and makes the flame within us burn hotter. That is our one thing.

For me, Worshipping God means Singing to Him, all the time. In my home, in the car, with my kids, in my head, and at the grocery store. Having His praise on my lips all the time. Its about having a home where His presence can rest, where there is order, peace and Joy. I know that when worshipping God becomes my focus, when all other things fade away and I just stand there in awe at His Glorious Majesty, all the problems, depression, cranky screaming kids and messes just seem to fade away.

My cry this morning was for God to never let me go back to the dark place I have been recently. It was so scary there. The thoughts, fears, anxiety, doubt, and overpowering depression were so intense. The tears, the hurt, the feelings of inadequacy....I don't want to ever be back there again!! I need to be alive! To do what God has called me to do, in every area of my life. And by His Grace, I will.

Who I Am

My photo
Connecticut, United States
That is where God met me. He kept repeating the word 'Undone' to me....kept repeating the phrase "She's come Undone". And then it hit me like a wave, the tears flowed. I realized all that I have been trying to accomplish within my life, my marriage, my home, my parenting...it is all being done in MY own strength. God is calling me, telling me to become Undone before Him. To let Him do the work in and through me. To rely on HIS strength to accomplish all the great things He has for my life, and to be the Woman of God, the wife, the mother, the friend, the daughter, the teacher that He is calling me to be. With that, I am becoming Undone before God. I am letting go of the old mindsets that I have been setting for myself. I'm letting go.